I love books. Every time I go to a bookshop I'm tempted to buy at least a dozen of them. Which obviously I can't. So I do the next best thing. I go to a bookstore, pick up a book I would like to buy, open some random chapter and start reading till I'm satisfied. I do this fairly often at Landmark at the Forum Mall. Which brings me to the point of this blog. I generally don't like conversations. My friends (or those who are remaining, thanks to my laconic conversations) will vouch for that. And I can be pretty straightforward. Or as others put it (and I don't really disagree), I can be rude. Real rude. So it's not really a great idea for a stranger to approach me for a polite conversation while I'm merrily browsing through a book. But believe me, it happens. And quite often at that, especially at Landmark. Now why would a guy whom I've never seen before want to compliment me for my choice in books, based on the one book that I'm holding at that moment? Puzzling?? Not really. It's not the book I'm holding that interests him. It's the money in my wallet that does. Well, all these pleasant looking, smartly dressed guys who seem so interested in me and are impressed by everything I say are actually part of some MLM scheme who need me to lighten my wallet in order for them to fatten theirs. MLM, for the uninitiated, is Multi-Level Marketing. Put simply, if you are a member, the more members you enroll into the scheme, the more moolah you make. And to become a member, you need to shell out money. And that's where the conversation will eventually lead to, even though it started with a compliment on the colour of my trousers. But experience has enlightened me. This is how the conversation proceeds if some MLM guy approaches me now:
1)
MLM Guy: Hi.
Me (This was the moment I was dreading. So I just look enquiringly, no reply. Actually, I do say a lot of things, but only to myself. And they are not fit to be reproduced here.)
MLM Guy: That's an interesting book you are reading. You like Jane Austen?
Me (No. I hate the guts of her. But I couldn't find any book written by you. So I had to make do with this. Poor me! (Again, I don't say that aloud): Yeah. (And give him a stare, which should be sufficient to tell any sensible guy that I don't bear fools gladly. But these guys don't give up easy.)
MLM Guy: Have you read all her books?
At this point, I just slam the book shut and walk away.
2)
MLM Guy: Is that a book a good read?
Me (It was, till you turned up): That's what I'm trying to find out.
MLM Guy: Are you going to buy that?
Me (Why? Will you complain to the Prime Minister if I don't??): Don't know.
MLM Guy: My friend has that book.
Current Mood:
amused
Dude did you say RUDE?...
ReplyDeleteWhoever said you are rude is wrong buddy...
i will be the last person to vouch for that...
as u know, i don't talk freely to everyone and that is taken as being rude by most people.
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree with you there Srini...have gone through the same irritating "let-me-introduce-myself" or the "it's-a-nice-book" routine at landmark a couple of times. It troubles me to see that bookshops have become hunting grounds. Nice write and nice thoughts. And of course, there is always a confusion between straight talk and rudeness, with the scales tilting to the latter on most of the times. Worry not, as I too face a similar situation most of the time.
ReplyDeleteCheers
Girish
At Landmark esp. its so common that I get apprehensive if someone even comes close. But thankfully, there's a new Odyssey that has opened recently near my home :)
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks, for being my first follower :)
BTW, you seem to have an entire collection of blogs.
Very True.. Got to know more about you
ReplyDeleteVikas :-)
Odyssey?? where? Would be interesting to visit something else for a change, landmark's too damn crowded. Well yeah I intended to keep different thought threads separate.Unfortunately no time to fill them up.
ReplyDelete@ Vikas:
ReplyDeleteHope you got to know something good :)
@ Girish:
Odyssey has opened at 100 Ft. Road, Indira Nagar.
With so many blogs, no wonder you can't find the time. I feel lazy to fill the one blog I have.
lol..thanks mate..I will check it up..I have been to the crossword there in Indira Nagar...check out the coffee shop if you are a coffee fan.
ReplyDeleteI'm not exactly a coffee fan....but I've been wanting to drop in at Crossword for some time now....will try the coffee too....cheers :)
ReplyDelete